I'll never stop reading the comic strips in the paper. Lucky for me, a lot of them also have a presence here on the web. They are listed here in order of decreasing maturity (which I might be guilty of as well).|
This Modern World, by Tom Tomorrow
Doonesbury, by Garry Trudeau
For Better or For Worse, by Lynn Johnston
Rose is Rose, by Pat Brady
Dilbert, by Scott Adams
Cathy, by Cathy Guisewite
Doctor Fun, by David Farley
Adam, by Brian Bassett
FoxTrot, by Bill Amend
Calvin and Hobbes, by Bill Waterston
Bizarro, by Dan Piraro
Where The Buffalo Roam, by Hans Bjordahl
Callahan, by John Callahan
And how could I not be a thirty-something American male without a love of games? When I was a child, each parent taught me a card game that I grew to love. My father
taught me the ancient and honorable game of Gin, a game of which I have only beaten him four times in
my life. (He claims two don't count because he was in the hospital. I disagree.) My mother taught me how to play the crazed game of Pounce; she's the unofficial champ of the game. My parents also played Boggle quite a lot; although I love the game, I'm fair-to-average at crossword puzzles. In high school, I learned
of a terrific puzzle-oriented video game with Russian roots: Tetris. (Tetris is based on what's called combinatorial mathematics. Alexey Pajitnov designed Tetris in 1985
at the Moscow Academy of Science; this game spawned a new kind of computer-based puzzle combination games -- which I dearly love.)
Other games I loved to play while growing up were Monopoly, Scrabble, Clue, Othello/Reversi, Pictionary, and Trivial Pursuit.
As a college freshman at the University of Florida, living on the third floor of South Hall (Go Mullets!), I learned to play Hearts and chess. (My chess record is perfect
and unblemished: I've lost every game I've played.) Also in college, I learned of other Tetris-like games, like Columns. I learned how
to play Jenga, Taboo, and Scattergories. In November 1997, on my way from South Florida to Gainesville, I met up with my old
college roommate, Ben Ostrowsky, at his apartment in Tampa... and he showed me You Don't Know Jack. I loved it, and now I own
After I moved to upstate New York, I learned many more wonderful games. I learned The Great Dalmuti in 1998. A year later, I was taught how to play the Mexican Train version of Dominoes. In the summer of 2001, I fell in love with another combinatorial
mathematics game: JT's Blocks. Six months later, I learned yet another combinatorial mathematics game: Super Collapse. In May 2002, I learned a terrific Mensa-certified game where the rules keep changing: Fluxx. At a Mensa event in the summer of 2007, I learned how to play double-deck cancellation hearts.
For some reason, I'm rather interested in transportation lines and communication paths. This means I like examining road maps, learning about telephone prefixes, and
all that other stuff. Like:
North American Numbering Plan Administration
-- all area codes, numerically and alphabetically (by location)
North American telephone area codes and prefixes/exchanges
why American roads are numbered they way they are:
The U.S. Interstate System
the U.S. Routes
city maps for getting around town (Orlando is NUTS!)
regional/state/national maps for traveling
The Subway Page
train maps and schedules
American ZIP codes
postal codes outside the U.S.
And then there are simply weird or cool or interesting or bizarre web sites...
Didja know you can major in Government Contract Management at this school? I actually have experience in government contracting, because I interned with a government office in Washington in regards to green (environmental) purchasing efforts on the federal level.
Absolutely Positively Useless Trivia
Trifles, trivialities, and unimportant details, such as "Uranus is visible to the naked eye." Better put some pants on.
The Acronym and Abbreviation Server
These guys inoculate you against mass media, advertising, and corporate viewpoints. Check out their great ad parodies!
American Tennessee Fainting Goat Association
It's real, kids: an association for
aficionados of fainting goats. This group was started in 1987. Membership is open to anyone who is interested in fainting goats, which is a breed of goat with a startle
reflex that makes them easy prey for predators. They don't actually faint; the goats have a muscle condition called myotonia which causes their external muscles to lock-up
or stiffen when startled... when that happens, the goat simply falls over. Older goats have learned to lean against a fence or barn to prevent falling over, so they don't
exhibit this trait as much as younger goats. A fainting goat protects sheep by serving themselves for dinner; the goats have been used by hepherds to protect sheep. If a
coyote or other predator came after the sheep, they'd have a chance to run away if a Fainting goat was in the herd. The Fainting goat would naturally fall over, providing
the predator with an easy meal. Apache Landing of Mayflower, Arkansas raises "Quality Fainting (Myotonic) Goats."
The new Amish.Net website (yes, folks, it's real) says it represents the "more progressive settlements" of the rigidly
old-fashioned Christian sect famous for its quilts, barn-raisings and furniture. However, I'd prefer if -- as the site loads
-- little animated Amish guys appear on the screen to construct the frames right before your eyes. Also, imagine the
following features of Amish.net:
The Association for Dressings and Sauces
- Banner ad reads: "Calmly reason with the monkey and win a dozen hand-dipped candles!"
- Another banner ad reads: "Catch the buggy and win a free quilt!"
- "Amish.net is best vieweth in black and white."
- "Kickin' Quaker.net's butt since 1994!"
- Real-time chat consists of opening a window and shouting at the top of your lungs.
- eBray Donkey Auctions
- Virtual Butter Churn
- You must navigate pages by hand-cranking the computer.
- "AskAmish" feature: Your on-line questions will be transcribed to parchment with a quill pen, presented to the Council of
Elders and your answer returned in 4-6 weeks by carrier pigeon.
- Amish Porn Central: Bare-Under-The-Bonnet Action! More than your barn will be raised! (They actually show the
knees in the pictorials!)
They're not solids, but they're not liquids, either. (If anybody exclaims "thixotropy" while reading this, I'll be surprised...) But they're all edible! Although it's
probably better on top of something. This is the only association dedicated to representing the manufacturers and suppliers of dressing and sauce products.
Although I'm really unsure why a separate group dedicated to toppings needs to exist!
Being a nicknames aficionado, I can really appreciate this...
Get out there and read what the government tells you not to read!
Billboard Liberation Front
The San Francisco-based BLF has been altering (improving) billboards since 1977. See what happens when you mix artisitic
talent with a healthy disregard for advertising. Check out campaigns that span two decades, targeting everyone from Exxon to
Apple, not to mention lots of alcohol and tobacco billboard. Their mantra is "Outdoor, if it's large, it's a medium."
Bill Gates Image Warp
Play with the head of Bill Gates... and win! Great stress reliever!
Bubba Gump Shrimp Company Restaurant and Market
"There's shrimp kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo, shrimp cocktail, shrimp scampi..."
The Burrito Brothers Taco Company
Yes, it's now a real restaurant chain.
This wonderful Mexican take-out place on the popular corner of Southwest 13th Street and University Avenue in Gainesville,
Florida brings back wonderful culinary memories from my undergraduacy. They can now send burritos via FedEx!
Canadian World Domination
"Like maple syrup, Canada's evil oozes over the United States." -- from the film Canadian Bacon
The Capt. James T. Kirk Sing-a-long Page
You mean to tell me that William Shatner can sing?!?
Characterization of Organic Illumination Systems
In other words, scientists tested if pickles were a suitable source of incandescent light. Really.
Christian Skydivers Assocation
This Florida-based group was apparently inspired by Ephesians 2:1-10 ("... sit together in heavenly places.") But the
newsletter's name is way cool: AirBornAgain.
Common Errors in (American) English
The concept of language errors is a fuzzy one... this site is concerned only with deviations from the standard use of English
as judged by sophisticated users such as professional writers, editors, teachers, and so on. The aim of this site is to help
you avoid low grades, lost employment opportunities, lost business, and titters of amusement at the way you write or
The Daily Martian Weather Report
"No clouds today, and a high of negative 62 degrees Celsius..."
The Darwin Awards and The Official Darwin Awards
Both of these sites celebrate the theory of evolution -- "survival of the fittest" -- by telling the tales of those who did
such stupid things that it got themselves killed (or, at least, made them unable to have children.) Stupid people
shouldn't breed. These amusing people eliminated themselves from the gene pool, and therefore benefited the gene pool in
the best way possible. It's funny, because I can't seem to find my favorite Darwin award winner on either site, and so I'll
repeat it here. An old man in Gainesville, Florida (!) with stiffness in his joints was a lifelong smoker; he developed
laryngeal cancer, and his wife drove him to the hospital to get his voice box removed. He would get an artificial voice box
in a few days, but he was still addicted to smoking. He got out his smokes, lit a match, and accidentally dropped it onto
himself before he could light up. Due to his body stiffness, he couldn't get out of the chair to "stop, drop, and roll," and
he couldn't yell for help! Needless to say, by the time his wife found him, it was too late.
Death By Curry
Most people have some idea how they would like to end their mortal existence on this planet. Some would like to go quietly in
their sleep, while others would prefer to "kick the bucket" while making passionate love. One person in particular wants
Death By Curry. To find a curry so hot and so mean that it would render him lifeless on the spot.
Translate any web page from regular English into various dialects, joke voices, and other strange manglings of the English language. Also, ValleyURL specifically translates any web page into likeohmyGawd! For example, you can see my web page in
Pig Latin, and
And don't forget the crowning achievement... Oly-hay Ible-bay! Yes... the Holy Bible is now in Pig Latin. "In-ay e-thay eginning-bay..."
The Drinking Games Compendium
Every conceivable way to quickly become an alcoholic.
Pronounced "duh-men-shuh", a combination of the words dumb and dementia, it's a showcase for Chris Condon's quick-witted ad
parodies and wacky computer industry and corporate spoofs. I dare you to copy the seven deadly sins motivational posters and
hang them up around the office.
English to English
Translate the following sentence into American English: "I've found two quid in me jumper, and now I'm off to buy a packet of
crisps!" If you guessed, "I found some spare change in my sweater, and now I'm going to buy some potato chips" you were right.
If you didn't, perhaps you should consult this handy glossary of British slang.
Factoring Really, Really Large Numbers
Purdue University researcher Samuel Wagstaff uses volunteers with spare computer cycles to help him factor really, really big
numbers. Recently, they managed to factor a record-setting 167-digit number derived from the form (3 to the nth power-1).
Since we know you couldn't sleep tonight without memorizing the number, here it is: (3 to the 349th power-1)/2 =
Flatland by Edwin A. Abbott
Where man is square and woman is line. This is a great and classical tale about a two-dimensional universe... it's an interdimensional experience.
Former Child Star Central
This is a "leading source for news, info, and the assorted sad/happy/weird items that make the study of ex-kid stars a gothic
pursuit." It's a terrific site if you either want to take a strangely nostalgic trip down memory lane, or if you're
interested in finding out what the former Brady kids are doing.
"Oh deep in the pond is where I dwell / and in spring days my life's sheer hell."
The Gallery Of "Misused" Quotation Marks
Maybe on a sign at the "grocery" store, maybe in an ad in your "local" newspaper. Perhaps even in a "memo" that circulated
throughout your company. They're quotation marks, and they turn up in the strangest of places.
The Gallery of Regrettable Food
A simple introduction to questionable foodstuffs and horrid recipes of the 40s, 50s, and 60s. Includes the delectable "Frosty
Games Kids Play
Ever play "Red Rover, Red Rover" on the freeway during rush hour?
Bill Gates Net Worth Page
William H. Gates III, Co-founder, Chairman, and CEO of Microsoft, has been rated by Forbes Magazine as the richest person in
the world again. Bill's net worth has reached such astounding levels that some people decided to find a way to present it
that made sense to the average reader. This net worth claims that if Bill were a country, his net worth would rank 43rd --
behind Israel but ahead of Syria. Bill Gates "has been making money at a staggering half-million dollars per hour -- around
$150 per second. Which means that if, on his way into the office, should he see or drop a $500 bill on the ground, it's just
not worth his time to bend over and pick it up. He would make more just heading off to work."
The Glossary of Mathematical Mistakes
Conspiratorial Coincidences, Number Numbness, Percentage Pumping and Self-Fulfilling Prophecies are among the many topics at
this site. A humourous discussion of the mathematical mistakes that are made with all-too-much regularity by the media,
reporters, advertisers, politicians, and others (perhaps even by students), this site opens the door to discussions about
whether or not some 'mistakes' might be intentional efforts at deception.
Great Britain Wheelchair Rugby Association
Although us Yanks got a great national team, this site is the place for the physically-challenged to satisfy their
rugby jones on the other side of the pond. Bear in mind that I think that rugby of any kind closely resembles "Kill The Guy
With The Ball"; it makes sense, therefore, that Wheelchair Rugby used to be called Murderball.
The Great Toilet Paper Debate
You have the opportunity to add your two-cents worth to an important question: Which way should toilet paper roll? Strung
over the front, or strung over the back?
Hidden Mickeys... and other Secrets of Walt Disney World
Are Mickey and his pals up to mischief? Not really... this site is a look behind the animatronic curtain. Correspondents
ranging from tourists to former and current "cast members" (as all Disney employees are called) reveal trivia about Mr. Walt
Disney, the parks, the movies, and the rest of the Mouse Empire. Learn all about Hidden Mickeys, which are images of Mickey
Mouse concealed in the design of any (and every) Disney ride, resort, and product. Originally, it took the shape of Mickey's
famous head and ears silhouette. In designing, constructing or adding the final touches to an attraction, Imagineers subtly
"hide" Mickey Mouse silhouettes in plain sight. (This was their way of taking credit for designing and building rides at the
parks, because you never see a plaque at an attraction that states what Disney folk created it.) Did you know that Cinderella
Castle contains an never-occupied apartment that Walt was going to use for his family? (Me neither.) This shows insight into
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
How Many Generic Chickens Can You Fit Into a Generic Pontiac?
This is the scientific algorithm for determining the number of nondescript fowl that can be placed into a nondescript American
automobile. This real-looking scientific blurb begs a question: If you have chicken for lunch and chicken for dinner, do you
ever wonder if the two chickens knew each other?
How To Be A Proper Evil Overlord
Dr. No, the Emperor from Star Wars, the Joker -- villains all, and all sharing another trait. They're all dead. This is a
Who's Who of bad guys, all who bit the dust at the hands of their worst enemies, the good guys, because of their own
stupidity. In an effort to prevent any other would-be conquerors from being hoisted on their respective petards, this site has
been set up to warn against some of the more glaring errors committed in the past. For instance, the list suggests potential
doomsday devices should be properly grounded and up to code, with a computer system run by an operating system completely incompatible with any Earth-based operating system. (For example, the aliens in ID4:
Independence Day were undone by a Macintosh PowerBook! The shame, the
shame.) This is handy information for anyone looking to take over the planet, or wanting to produce the next James Bond
How To Build An Atomic Bomb
While you might not be ambitious enough to build a nuclear bomb, isn't it nice to know that you can?
How To Pick A Lock
It's a craft, not a science. And contrary to widespread myth, it is not a felony to possess lockpicks.
Inexplicable Object of the Week
This site features a new "inexplicable object" for the world to marvel at every week -- just because it can. Take a look at
some purely bizarre things in this world...
How many ringgits to the baht? Where's Tierra Del Fuego? What's a spoliator? The wildly popular radio quiz show and
best-selling almanac is now an outstanding reference site with all the facts.
Insect Parts in Food
Is it true that the FDA allows certain levels of insect parts in food?
The International Gay Rodeo Association
Yes. According to the U.S. Food and Drug Administration, "it is economically
impractical to grow, harvest, or process raw products that are totally free of non-hazardous, naturally occurring, unavoidable
defects." These unavoidable defects can include insect parts, rodent hairs, mold, and even "mammalian excreta." The agency has
therefore established "Food Defect Action Levels," the maximum levels of unavoidable defects it will allow. Chocolate and
chocolate liquor, for example, must contain less than an average of 60 or more insect fragments per 100 grams and one or more
rodent hairs per 100 grams. Anything above that, and the FDA will regard the food as "adulterated" and subject to enforcement
action. Ground cinnamon must contain less than an average of 400 or more insect fragments per 50 grams and an average of 11 or
more rodent hairs per 50 grams. (The defect levels do not represent an average of the defects that usually occur -- just the
maximum allowed.) Yummy.
Gay Rodeo started in 1976. (Yes, it's older than the Web itself.) At the inaugural event in that year, they crowned "King of
the Cowboys" (men's champ), "Queen of the Cowgirls" (women's champ) and "Miss Dusty Spurs" (you figure it out).
Internet-Accessible Coke Machines
There are actual vending machines that are accessible on the 'Net. You can even check online to see what sodas are in them,
how full they are, and some machines have a pay-system instituted! Some people are too damn lazy to carry quarters, so they
figured out a way to deduct money from their accounts and automatically drop a soda of their choice to the bin, waiting for
them to get.
Jabberwocky by Lewis Carroll
"`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe..."
kissthisguy.com: The Archive of Misheard Lyrics
No, Steve Miller did not sing "Big 'ol Jed had a light on!"
Ooh, look at all the purty colors...
Lark-N-Mark's Virtual Jello
Believe it or not, there is a lot of Jello jiggling around in cyberspace...
Lego fans, unite! This is a virtual world dedicated to the miniature plastic humanoids of Lego building block fame. Come
watch how the little people live.. See what kind of Internet services they enjoy. And best of all, create your own Lego-ite by
using an amazing variety of mix-and-match heads, torsos, and legs. Toy enthusiasts, kids and those who want to design kinky
transvestite Lego people will all enjoy this site.
A cutting-edge experiment explored the magnetic levitation of living organisms and involved a whopping 16 teslas worth of
magnetic field at the Nijmegen High Field Magnet Laboratory. The scientists state the frog "looked comfortable" in the
magnetic field, which compares to those in commercial in-vivo imaging systems (currently up to 10 teslas), which don't seem to
have any adverse health effects. Unnamed media pundits are predicting that someday "we'll all be able to travel across town
on magnetically levitating frogs."
License Plates of the World
This encyclopedic site contains photos of and historical notes for license plates from every state and dozens of countries
around the globe. I personally blame Dr. George Bizer for my interest in this topic.
List of Things to Do When You're Bored
Holding your breath, swallowing your tongue, trying not to think of polar bears... but my favorite is having a "who is less
competitive" competition. You see, trying to win at this will make you lose. Trying to lose makes you win, which makes you
lose. Not trying at all makes you lose, which makes you win, which makes you lose.
The Luddite Reader
A Luddite resource that requires the use of dreaded technology to get to it? Yup. Billing itself as the last place to look
for Luddite reading, this is for the technology dysphoric, phobic, paranoiac, and the merely cranky. It features selected
books, films, and other resources for folks who would like to turn their backs on technology, if only they could be sure that
it would not sneak up on them so.
Miniature Golf Association of America
Basically, this is the PGA for Mini Golf. I'd prefer to see their tournaments on TV than the real golfing ones. But I'd
wanna see a guy dressed like Payne Stewart -- and a caddy! -- at a hole with a windmill, shouting "Fore!", and then smacking
the ball so far it that hits a kid in the forehead at the other end of the amusement center. Yes, that's my sick mind in
Nice, but ever try to unfold a $5 paper crane?
This is a list of the most annoying and common logic flaws and stereotypes found in movies.
Muppet Movies Lyric Archive
- "When you enjoy something, you must never let logic get too much in the way."
- "You actually like the villains in all the James Bond movies."
- "Whenever Bond breaks into the complex: 'Ah, Mr. Bond, welcome, come in. Let me show you my entire evil plan and then put
you in a death machine that doesn't work.'"
Yes, now you can sing along on "Rainbow Connection". It's not kismet... it's Kermit. Sing along, everyone!
The Museum of Bad Art
The Museum of Bad Art is a community-based, private institution dedicated to the collection, preservation, exhibition and
celebration of bad art in all its forms and in all its glory. The pieces in the collection range from the work of talented
artists that have gone awry, to works of exuberant -- although crude -- execution by artists barely in control of the brush.
What they all have in common is a special quality that sets them apart in one way or another from the merely incompetent.
Museum of Unnatural Mystery
Weird, strange, unnatural, still family kind of stuff, even a news flash somewhere about the entire universe maybe having an
Here's a lovingly crafted resource for that uniquely American art form -- the musical. But although I've actually been in a
few musicals, they aren't very realistic. I mean, how often during a conversation do you burst out in song with your friends
The Naked News
Ten-minute news summaries, read by attractive naked women. World news, domestic news, weather, sports, business, even a
commentary at the end of the show -- it's all there. And it's serious news, too, albeit in headline format. There's no sex
or net focus; rather, one could listen to this report every day and have a sense of what's going on in the world that would,
frankly, probably be better than one would get from most local "news" shows (look! a squirrel on water skis!). The reports
just happen to be read by naked women.
Bringing hate messages into the open, as this page does, potentially weakens the argument and makes it less effective. It's
produced by a Jewish college group...
The Official Rock Paper Scissors Strategy Guide
"I want you to just let a wave of intolerance wash over you. I want you to let a wave of hatred wash over you. Yes, hate is
good...Our goal is a Christian nation. We have a Biblical duty, we are called by God, to conquer this country. We don't want
equal time. We don't want pluralism."
-- Randall Terry, Founder of Operation Rescue, The News-Sentinel, Fort Wayne, Indiana, 16 August 1993
Give them credit for their good advice on the Avalanche strategy (throwing all rocks) and the Naughty Kid strategy (carrying
all scissors, all the time).
This is the ultimate compendium of historical and fictitious personages who've managed to achieve recognition, acclaim, or
notoriety with just one name. All of the usual suspects are here: Adam and Aladdin, Xerxes and Zorro, as well as Greek
deities, Disney characters, seven dwarves, and assorted anthropomorphs. Something about Web publishing seems to inspire
list-makers to brave new realms of compilation... like my college nicknames list!
Outhouses of America
Everything you ever dared to wonder about external lavatories, including photos, humor, and the infamous "exploding
Over The Hill Gang, International
A group for snowskiers aged 50 and over. "When you're over the hill, you pick up speed!"
The all-in-one package tracker for UPS, FedEx, Airborne, the Postal Service, and basically every other carrier. Very
useful... and based right here in Albany!
Think of it as a coloring book for web designers and anyone intrigued by how colors communicate. This playful tool lets you
combine any five web-safe colors from the 216-color palette available to web designers, in order to see the effect they create
on the page.
The Payphone Project
This is a huge list of payphone numbers in the United States and Canada. Yup, you read that correctly. This is a perfect
example of technology gone berserk.
Pez Candy, Inc.
Did you know that Betsy Ross was the only real human being to have a Pez dispenser made in her likeness?
The Phobia List
Some of us have atychiphobia (fear of failure), and some of us have acrophobia (fear of heights), but I want to meet someone
who has arachibutyrophobia (fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth).
Sometimes I don't remember telephone numbers very well, and so I make them into words. This handy-dandy utility converts any
telephone number into words. Ok, so fine!
The Physics of Baseball
Formulae, equations, and theorems are here that explain the real action of the game of summer. It will tell you why a
curveball curves... but not how to hit one.
The Political Graveyard
You know that joke about Grant's Tomb?
Purity tests try to gauge how "pure" you are within some realm of experience by having you answer a list of questions about
your experience (or lack thereof) in that subject. It's not just sexual tests and nerd tests; this site will test you on
everything from niceness to weirdness, from jocks to gamers.
The Pursuit of Happiness
Several photo-essays on those supercool inalienable rights that Mr. Jefferson wrote about so eloquently.
Mr. Ryden paints luminous icons of movie stars, children, angels and insects, and cuts of meat. He claims that a magic monkey
comes into his studio at night and does his artistic work. He also names P.T. Barnum, Ren and Stimpy, Alice in Wonderland,
and Charles Darwin among his influences. His schoolteachers wondered why his drawings of dogs would have their intestines
showing or why his self-portraits had a third eye. They disapproved, but he learned to really enjoy confusing my teachers and
even scaring them. You should have no inhibitions when creating art. His art is skillful, fascinating, and darkly
Do you remember the goth anarchy cheerleaders from the Nirvana music video "Smells Like Teen Spirit"? Did you think that
those kinds of cheerleaders existed outside of a music video? You'd be wrong! They do exist in real life! The Satan's
Cheerleaders is a performance art group based in Austin, Texas. Originally a dance group for a local alt-country-punk band
(the Flametrick Subs), they have become internationally infamous for their naughty routines and hardcore personae. From their
tattoos and piercings to the 666's on their black vinyl cheerleader outfits, these are very bad girls. (And we all
know what happens to bad girls.) Some of the stuff on this site is naughty (the picture of the "squad" at the top of
the first page has them holding each others' breasts) and other stuff is just plain weird (a full-nude pencil drawing done by
Richard "the Nightstalker" Ramirez). There is a link to an Austin store where you can purchase merchandise! (Does the
underwear beckon to you?)
The Scottish Tiddlywinks Association
To answer the obvious question, yes. They're serious. (Oy vey.)
Seventy-Five Years of Band-Aid
Unless you have a serious bandage fetish, avoid this site.
Solar System Live!
The Southern Word Homepage
While in college (in the South, no less), I contributed a few words to this terrific pseudo-parody compendium of words that
would be in a dictionary of the Southern language.
SparkNET's Majordomo Figlet Gateway
A silly utility to create ASCII font art... versatile and useless.
Spike and Mike's Sick and Twisted Festival of Animation
Beavis and Butt-head got their start here... and even more disgusting animation as well. I love it!
The Spud Gun Technology Center
Please understand, potato launching is serious business. It raises important questions: What kind of launching device works
best for your own specific potato-altitude needs? What about fuel injection choices? Is there a better or safer ignition
system? This is no small potatoes.
Squirrel Hazing: The Untold Story
Anything goes for these wantonly self-destructive creatures, including cheek stuffing...
To me, stamps are another way to put art in public places. I used to collect stamps a long time ago. What I do now instead
is buy a lot of different kinds of stamps, and then use them.
Sunlight Around The Planet
This site presents a graphical view of the sunlit and dark areas at the time that you click on their link. They also show
local time, and sunrise and sunset times for over 500 cities. The sun never sets on the World Wide Web...
The Tackiest Place In America Contest
While driving across the country in 1995, some yoyo took it upon himself to begin a quest for the most egregious examples of
tackiness and lack of taste that were to be found alongside our nation's highways. There are a lot of strange places that
simply defy explanation, and this guy has been fortunate enough to have seen some of the best. Some locales even defy
pictorial representation and must be directly experienced for their truly disgusting natures to be understood.
Taken on the Road: American Mile Markers
How wide is America? The way photographer Matthew Frondorf measures, the answer is 3,304 photos -- one 35-mm shot for every
mile. He drove from the Statue of Liberty to the Golden Gate Bridge, his camera clicking at every mile. He asked Kodak to
format the photos in movie form, and so now you can "see America" without actually driving cross-country.
You can hear a computer-synthesized voice say the words you type. Oh-so-much fun for the bored worker.
A Time-Delay Picture of the Earth at Night
The Defense Meteorological Satellite Program took this picture. Since it's time-delay, you can actually map out the roads and
other linkages on the earth (oil pipelines, train tracks, etc.). You can see the disparity in brightness between North and
South Korea, the prevalence of lights all over India, the Nile River Valley (contrasted with the area around it), the
Trans-Siberian railroad, the border between Russia and China, the Midwest U.S. grid (particularly in Nebraska, Iowa, and
Kansas), and a little light, very far north in Canada, near the North Pole.
ThinkQuest Internet Contest
Hundreds of amazing sites created by students from around the world, ages 12 to 19.
Toiletology 101: The Care and Repair of Toilets
Almost everything you never wanted to know about water closets, johns, the facilities...
The Trash Cans of Disney
I thought I'd seen everything. I was wrong.
Unclaimed Baggage Center
There's something voyeuristic about this whole thing: a store that sells unclaimed airline baggage online. Which is not to say
it's a bad idea. It's just that after browsing through the goods, after seeing some traveler's lost teddy bear on sale for
four bucks, or another's Tommy Bahama shoes for $35, you feel a little odd. Then you think, "Hey, four bucks. What a deal."
And you click the order button. Finders keepers. Be sure also to visit the "What Is It?" section... some lost luggage is plain
United States National Debt Clock
Washington seems to be more interested in spending the budget surplus on entitlement programs than in using the money to pay
off this huge debt.
United States Official Master Clock
This is the official source of time for the U.S. Government -- the nation's official timekeeper. My inner geek says,
cooooool. It's provided by the two time agencies of United States: the Time & Frequency Division of the National
Institute of Standards and Technology (NIST) (a Department of Commerce agency), and its military counterpart, the United States Naval Observatory (USNO). Readings from the clocks of these agencies
contribute to world time, called Coordinated Universal Time (UTC). The time maintained by both agencies should never differ by
more than 0.000 0001 seconds from UTC.
United States Population and World Population
Find out the exact number of people in this country and on this planet at this exact moment in time!
Universal History Translation Project
I often get accused of being too serious about the 'Net. This site, however, will vindicate me forever and will be a few
laughs for those of us that want to store useless information to use at a cocktail party, or as an anecdote for a speech.
The Useless Pages
This classic dates back to 1994, uncovering all that is useless and online. From cars to cows to fortune telling to
Homonymophone Debates, read all about it here.
The Visible Human Project
Yes, even you can get gross anatomy on the Web! Just picture it... slicing up a dead guy from head to toe! Cryosection
images of cadavers, millimeter by millimeter down the body. (I imagine that after seeing this, eating steak will now be
The Vomit Dictionary
"Bowing before the porcelain god" and "technicolor yawn" never did it for me, either...
Where's THAT From?
This etymology quiz game is a great way to learn fifty-cent words.
The World of Hate
It's a sad state of affairs when a genuine hate page is actually pretty funny to read!
The World's Smallest Web Server at the Stanford University Wearables Lab
Fifty years ago, a computer with less computational power than a modern pocket calculator filled a whole room, and ran
programs consisting of only a few hundred instructions. In the intervening decades computer hardware has continued to shrink
while computer software has continued to grow, so that today we can fit the extensive software needed to drive a World Wide
Web server into a computer the size of a box of matches. Technology has narrowed the gap between embedded computers and
general purpose computers to the place where the size advantage of embedded computers has become nonexistent.
Worldwide Web Wiffle Ball
Yes, there are rules to this child's game with the plastic ball that curves. "But Wiffleball ain't a sport," you say. "Anything that you get better at as you consume alcohol is NOT a sport." Well, I dare you to learn and play this game. Heck, why not start a league? (However, stating "Sorry, got a Wiffleball game" to co-workers does leave you open to ridicule.)
Wrong Dimension Toys
This is phony fun from a twisted imagination. After reading the hilarious history of toys such as "The Big K" and "The Dongle
Bunny Toothbrush," you'll wish they were really on the market.